Women in Transition
Any transition is easier if you believe in yourself and your talent. ~Priyanka Chopra
You’re afraid you don’t know who you are anymore.
The things that once defined you are gone with your last child, now launched and on her own.
No more school functions to volunteer for, no parties or football games, no high school dances or plays or bake sales, no worrying about boys bringing your daughter home by curfew. No all-nighters helping with school projects and papers, no more kids hanging out at your house.
It’s pretty lonely and you wonder if you’re depressed or just missing your life.
Joan was a reluctant empty-nester. She raised two daughters and was so proud of who they’d become. Out of the family home and on their own, they were thriving.
To be honest, Joan was a little jealous. She wanted a chance to start a fresh new chapter in a new town like her daughters had. Things at home were quiet and, well, boring. She and her husband had lost their intimate connection and were going through the motions. She felt like she was swimming underwater in slow motion.
Grateful for the chance to be a stay at home mom, she now felt like she had lost her favorite job. Not that it had all been a piece of cake. But she took the good with the bad and had always risen above the challenges of parenting.
Now she really felt lost. Her husband still had his career and didn’t understand why she was so blue. After all, she should be happy having done such a good job, right?
Joan decided to find someone to talk to about her mixed feelings. Someone who could understand her loneliness. Her friends recommended a therapist who had been through all of that. One who had been a stay-at-home-mom and reinvented herself. One who knew how to honor the transitional period as the space between stories – the space between what was and what was to come.
As Joan and Patty worked together, they identified the values that had shaped her life, the dreams she still had and the resources she could access to make them come true.
She reconnected with her husband and their marriage blossomed into one more fulfilling than it had been in a long time.
But most importantly, she learned to trust the process of becoming the butterfly she was always meant to be. Now she soars, knowing when and how to ground herself, when to spread her wings and take flight into her newest incarnation of Joan.
She’s so thankful to have had the courage to reach out for guidance and support.
Alice, on the other hand, felt like her life was falling apart in front of her eyes. She’d been married for 25 years, the kids were out of the house and her husband had just announced he wasn’t in love with her anymore and wanted a divorce. It felt a 747 jet had just crashed into her chest. She wondered what she had done wrong and felt like a failure.
Alice’s feelings vacillated between shocked, afraid, angry, depressed and she wondered how she’d ever get through this and rebuild her life. Like Joan, she’d willingly sacrificed a career in favor of being a stay-at-home-mom….it just made sense to her and her husband when the kids were born. Now here she was, middle-aged, no career, no kids to raise and it seemed like her husband was pulling the rug out from under her life! It’s a good thing her husband had had a successful career and she knew she wouldn’t struggle financially….but emotionally? Who knew what would happen?
Fortunately, she had a few close girlfriends who had been through divorce and learned how to survive and even thrive. They encouraged her to see a therapist, so she called and chose to work with one who had similar experience. Patty helped her figure out the crucial things to focus on, small steps she could take towards her bigger goals, and things she could do to soothe her distress when she felt anxious, sad, hopeless or angry.
A year later, Alice is back in school, earning a graduate degree that will help her build a second career. Some days are rough, but she has learned to accept the natural flow of her emotions and how to practice self-compassion. She’s falling in love with herself and she feels happier than she’s felt in a long time. She’s even thankful for the sometimes painful process, because it helped her learn some valuable things about herself.
Patty helped her to develop her own tools to rise above her circumstances and become a more resilient and empowered woman. She’s even thinking about dating again!
If Joan’s or Alice’s story seems like a reflection of your life, call me!
I’ve been through much of the above and have lived to tell my triumphant story! I would be honored with the opportunity to help you craft your newest chapter.
Your new life can be amazing!